You ever felt that dont belong in the world? Well, I have to live with that feeling every minute of every day... I've never felt that I fitted in with anyone or anything... It's like... I could be in a room full of people and still, I would be as lonely as it gets.
I did, at one point in my sad excuse for a life have someone who understood every feeling I felt... My best friend, Leanne... Her cuddles were like my bodyguard... A shield from the mishaps of life. We had such fun, Leanne and I despite having met at an adolescent psychiatric unit, we shared lots of laughter and lots of tears.
Leanne was special. I feel so frustrated when I think of Leanne... I should have saved her. I should have been there for her like she was for me... I should have done more... I should have been a better friend. Now, not only do I have to live alone, I wont get the chance to say how much she meant to me, or how much I loved her (and still do!) despite the fact that I told her this all the time, I would give anything to tell her this one last time.
Not a day goes by where I don't think "It should have been me".
I wish Leanne was here with me today... But she isn't and all I have to hold on to is the precious memories in which I hold tucked up safe in my heart, forever more.
Leanne is never truly gone as long as she's in your heart.
ReplyDeleteYour life will always be hit with lows but they will pass.
Remember... every emotion is a learning curve and one day you will have knowledge that surpass all.