You ever felt that dont belong in the world? Well, I have to live with that feeling every minute of every day... I've never felt that I fitted in with anyone or anything... It's like... I could be in a room full of people and still, I would be as lonely as it gets.
I did, at one point in my sad excuse for a life have someone who understood every feeling I felt... My best friend, Leanne... Her cuddles were like my bodyguard... A shield from the mishaps of life. We had such fun, Leanne and I despite having met at an adolescent psychiatric unit, we shared lots of laughter and lots of tears.
Leanne was special. I feel so frustrated when I think of Leanne... I should have saved her. I should have been there for her like she was for me... I should have done more... I should have been a better friend. Now, not only do I have to live alone, I wont get the chance to say how much she meant to me, or how much I loved her (and still do!) despite the fact that I told her this all the time, I would give anything to tell her this one last time.
Not a day goes by where I don't think "It should have been me".
I wish Leanne was here with me today... But she isn't and all I have to hold on to is the precious memories in which I hold tucked up safe in my heart, forever more.
